Healthy thinking through positive cognitive mindfulness, is an absolutely phenomenal way to live your life. Always coming from a positive point of view, makes you a magnet that people are naturally attracted to. I’m sure you’ve met someone that just seems delightful, outgoing, secure, and magnetic — well, they’re living a life of positive cognitive mindfulness, and that’s the exact reason why you’re attracted to them.
To help you out, and to get you on your way to success, I’ve shared some of the top positive cognitive mindfulness traits that you can grab hold of relatively easily, and incorporate into your everyday interactions with people. Remember, reading these and not doing anything with them, is not going to help you out — you need to grasp hold of them, study them, and embody them, for them to work. You’re going to get what you put in.
Focus on the positive. Ignore the negative.
When you focus on the positive, every situation turns out better. Yes, it may be a terrible situation that you’re going through, but letting the negative enter into your mind and eat away at you, is not going to help. It’s only going to exasperate the situation at hand, and it’s just going to cause more stress. Look at the glass as half-full for best results. Whether you believe it or not, there’s a positive in every situation, it’s just that sometimes it takes a little more time than normal to be uncovered. If you give up, you don’t stand a chance at finding it, so keep your head up, stay positive in every situation, and you’ll eventually get through and find your way.
Have some grey area in your thinking.
It doesn’t always have to be black and white. You don’t always have to be right either. There’s no sense in fighting with someone over something that’s in the grey area. It’s good that you feel strongly about something, but going too far to the extreme in any one direction can hurt relationships. You may think you’re the law, but you’re not, so let people be who they are, and learn to work with them according to their strengths and weaknesses. In most peoples lives, the grey area consumes most of the interactions throughout the day, but our mind wants to go black or white, so stay on track by being thoughtful, caring, understanding, and compassionate. It just works better this way.
Give people a chance.
Not every person is going to have the same skills. Don’t assume that they they’re going to know how to do something if they’ve never been trained properly. Everyone needs an opportunity. I don’t care where a person is from, what type of upbringing they had, or didn’t have — everyone deserves a chance to prove their value. The real gems are in the person that gets a chance, takes full advantage of it, and excels beyond anyones expectations. Success stories like this all start with one main action — that person being given an opportunity. Sometimes multiple chances are needed. We’re all human here, and we’re all going to make mistakes. I know it may be tough, and outside guidance from a trained professional may be needed, but being understanding, and giving people a second chance, is really the way to go.
Never jump to conclusions.
Listen to what happened, why it happened, gather some supporting evidence, and then make a decision on how you’d like to handle things. You know what they say about assuming things, and it’s not good. Take the time to listen. Making quick and uneducated decisions, typically just compounds the situation and makes things more difficult to straighten out later. Take the time to understand the situation in full before you react. The idea is to put the effort in up front, and resolve any issues, so you can move forward, free and clear, of any negative circumstances moving forward.
Be responsible for you.
The reason you want to be responsible for yourself, is because you don’t have control over everyone, and every situation that occurs. It all needs to start with you. If you’re not acting responsibly yourself, how is anyone else going to look up to you and believe in what you’re saying. Back up your words, with your actions. There’s no sense in blaming yourself for everything that happens. You’re not able to control, and/or stop everything that’s going to happen, so the best thing you can do, is adapt and evolve along with every situation. Do the best you can, let people know you’re boundaries and expectations, and stay positive for best results.
It doesn’t have to be fair, it just has to be right.
Not everything in life is fair, and that’s because every situation has different rules. In some countries, one thing is legal, where in another contries, it’s illegal — whatever the case, it’s up to you to understand what’s right, and then abide by those rules. Read the guidelines that are set forth to protect you, understand the disciplinary measures in breaking the rules, and then get onboard and work within the rules to maximize your efforts in whatever you’re looking to achieve. Breaking the rules is never advised, but pushing the limits is something that you’re going to need to do if you want to get ahead. If you have to question if what you’re doing is right, or wrong, it’s probably wrong, so seek guidance before you jump in and get started on something that’s going to lead you down a negative path that you really don’t want to go down.
Never blame shift.
If there’s one thing you never want to do, it’s blame shift i.e. transfer a mistake that you made, to another person. This is a quick way to lose relationships. Learn to take on responsibility and to be fully accountable for your actions. Shirking responsibility and pushing it on someone else is not only hurting yourself, but you’re going to compound the situation and hurt the other person in the process because they’re going to be sucked into something that they really have no idea about. Not blame shifting comes down to you, being responsible for you. If something happened, and you’re to blame, let people know why the mistake happened, what exactly happened, and what you’re going to do so that it never happens again. Like I mentioned above, we’re all human and we all make mistakes, so just fess up if you messed up, take responsibility, and move on.
Dump should, could, and would, from your vocabulary.
All three of these words will lead you nowhere. They’re all past tense and position you as a failure. Let me give you a few examples of what I’m talking about. “I wish I would of done this,” or “I should of done this,” or “If I could only have this one thing, everything would be great,” you see what I’m saying? Using should, could, and would all put you in a position of feeling less than. Well, I’m here to tell you that you’re more than. Instead of using, “should,” try saying it like this instead, “Maybe next time I’ll try it this way.” You see the simple transition? Of course you do. Using the right vocabulary and laying out things in your head properly can make a huge difference in how you feel about yourself.
Make decisions based off the information that you have, not just from your gut feeling.
Set yourself up for success by understanding everything that’s going on in your life. Your gut i.e. intuition, is vitally important, but you always need to put some facts behind it as well. In simple terms, “Don’t be irrational with your decision making process.” Sometimes our emotions will get the best of us, and we’ll make a big decision, based off how we feel, which may not be really how the situation is, because we’re not in the right emotional state to make the proper decision. I’d suggest that before you make any big decisions, that you give yourself some time to think about it, and to work out all the details on paper. Gather all the facts, see how you feel, then make the decision.
You need to change, not other people.
Relationships that surround you are always going to be in flux, so the faster you realize that it’s you that needs to adapt and change, not the world, the better off you’ll be. I’m sure you’ve heard the quote, “The situation doesn’t determine your success, it’s the way that you react to it that does.” Some people are just flat out crazy, and when you try to change a crazy person, you know what happens right? You end up being the crazy one — so don’t worry about the crazies or what they’re doing, just avoid them, alter your behavior for the positive, and move on with your life. Control what you can control, and that’s only yourself most of the time.
Stay away from generalizing and judging people.
You just don’t know what someone is going through, or had to go through to get to where they are today. Maybe they had a rough upbringing that was gifted with happily married parents and a perfect house with a white picket fence and a dog. Looking at people from just the outside and judging them by appearance is really selling yourself short. Get to know people, listen to them, find out their story, and be the helping hand when needed. Yes, it’s easy to judge people right away because our mind is setup to do it this way, but if you can train yourself to hold back on that initial judgement for a few minutes until you can find out a bit more about the person, it will definitely open up some new relationship opportunities for you. Grouping people into categories isn’t good to do either — just because one person does it, doesn’t mean that everyone is going to do it.
You don’t always need to be right.
No one is always right, it’s ok. Share what you know, and don’t try to extend the truth to make yourself sound better. You’re not on the playground in first grade anymore, be an adult, and when you’re wrong, promptly admit it. Sometimes finding out that you’re wrong, can be just as exciting as you thinking that you’re right, because you realize that you won’t be spreading junk information anymore. There’s really nothing incorrect with being wrong about something, admitting it and moving on, but there is something wrong with knowing you’re wrong, sticking to your guns, and just continuing to make a fool of yourself.
Do a good act because you want to, not because you want to get rewarded.
If you want to feel fulfilled, or like you’re a greater part of a whole, give back at every opportunity you get. There’s nothing more rewarding than helping out a person, or an organization, that needs it. Yes, money is great, and it’s probably the preferred method for most organizations, but time is needed as well. People need people, they need emotional support, they need to feel loved, and money isn’t able to do this — only one human with another human can transfer these ever so important feelings. When giving back, do it for the right reasons without expecting anything back in return. Believe me, if you give naturally for the right reasons, you’ll get back ten-fold what you put in, you just need to hang around long enough, and look hard enough to find it.
There you have them. All the positive cognitive mindfulness traits that you can easily implement in your life. Like I mentioned above, you get what you put in, so study these, implement them, practice them, and you’ll be on your way to an absolutely phenomenal way of life. Remember to always come from a positive point of view, and wake up in the morning with the intent to be helpful and useful, not only to yourself, but everyone you come in contact with.